I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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