so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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