CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
