he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
