We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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