I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
