dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm sobbing to NWA
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