It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
