Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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