I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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