At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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