im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize