plz talk dirty to me
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
