It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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