i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
