bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
