dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
