I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
