omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
two words...techno handjob
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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