she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
