I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
