I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
