he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
