Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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