I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
