Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
