physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
