My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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