i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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