We had to coat check the pizza.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
