He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
