my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize