Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
