No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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