I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Randomize
