I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize