It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
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