it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
