words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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