Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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