I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
