bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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