All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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