hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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