No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
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