I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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