We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
