I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Randomize
