Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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