I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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