also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize