I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
You can't motorboat a personality
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
