Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
