This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
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