Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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