Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
