I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
