And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
We named our party play list daddy issues
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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