I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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