One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
