I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
